Stuff I Want to Buy, But Shouldn’t: Apple Edition

Apparently choosing one ingredient for a dinner party also means shopping for it.

The One Ingredient Party started reasonably enough with apples.

Then I noticed the tapers.

And the candle.

And the glasses.

And the pitcher.

This is how these things happen.

Did I need any of it? No.

Did the fact that I was hosting a dinner centered entirely around apples suddenly make every apple-shaped object on the internet feel relevant to my life?

Unfortunately, yes.

THINGS THAT SUDDENLY FELT NECESSARY

THE GEOMETRY APPLE TOWEL

This one barely counts because I already have a Geometry problem. A cutie apple pattern during a party honoring apples was really just the natural progression of events.

THE ANTHROPOLOGIE APPLE TAPERS

I own candlesticks. I host dinner parties. These are technically candles.

This is the kind of math that gets me into trouble.

THE BAN.DO APPLE PITCHER

This was the hardest one.

It’s quirky. It’s amazing. It’s shaped like an apple. And, crucially, a pitcher is an actual useful object.

I serve drinks. People need water. I had constructed an extremely compelling case.

The only problem was that I already own pitchers.

Several, actually.

I left it behind.

I think about it often.

THE BATH AND BODY WORKS APPLE 3 WICK CANDLE

I will defend a Bath & Body Works candle.

Are some of them going to smell like a craft store having a nervous breakdown? Absolutely.

But when they’re good, they’re good. And an apple candle during an Apple Party felt less like shopping and more like basic infrastructure.

Obviously, I bought it.

And I bought it on sale.

THE POTTERY BARN APPLE ICON GLASSES

These were apple glasses. For an Apple Party. At which I was serving an Apple French 75.

The argument practically wrote itself.

Unfortunately, I also own glasses.

Many glasses.

I used a regular glass, damnit.

THE J.CREW FACTORY APPLE SOCKS

After demonstrating an admirable amount of restraint with the pitcher, the glasses, and the tapers, I would like it noted that these cost significantly less.

Also, I have feet.

I wore them to the party.

No regrets.